APPLICATION: Night Out Permission Slip
Name: Boyfriend / Fiancι / Husband:
_______________________________________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: __________ Time of
departure: __________ Time
of return NOT to exceed: __________
Should
permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated
below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with
other women. I shall not even speak to
another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn
off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of
alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of
said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go
out, my girlfriend / fiancι / wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the
following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of
alcohol allowed (units) Beer _____ Wine
_____ Liquor _____
Total _____
Location: From: To: Location: From: To: Location: From: To:
Locations to be
visited:
Females with whom
conversation is permitted
_____________________________________________
Check here for
NONE _____
IMPORTANT STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of this contract.
I acknowledge
my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I
agree its not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I
understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers.
You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do
so. I hereby promise to take you to a Michael Bolton concert, should I not
return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with
any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity.
Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the
toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile
breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that
to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above
information is correct.
Signed: Boyfriend / Fiancι / Husband
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
"
Permission for
my boyfriend / fiancι / husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date: Time
of departure: Time
of return:
Signed: Girlfriend /
Fiancι / Wife